Owner: Sabu (Annie, Alex, and Erica are my pets)
You’ll have to excuse the poor looks of my legs in my picture here. I was fresh off a fur-eating bender and not yet quite put back together. I’m much better now, and my entire appearance is as magnificent as the top half of my body appears here. I am told by my pets at some length just how handsome and soft I am. Usually that kind of sycophantic fawning would incur wrath, but because it’s entirely true, I let them get away with it.
In my younger years, I was a tremendous douchebag. I was fond of Alex, and that’s pretty much it. As I’ve aged (I’m 13 now, though I don’t look a day over 8), I’ve become moderately more tolerant. When Alex asked if I could adopt some other people, I begrudgingly allowed them to move in. I was hardly aware of the fact that they would be bringing other cat brethren with them, though. Fortunately, the other two minions are well aware of the hierarchy and realize my status around here, as does that disgustingly overgrown fleabag of a dog that my pets brought home one day (without consulting me, I might add). Anyway, now I like most people, and actually demand attention frequently from all of my pets. Recently, just to keep them off guard, I climbed up and head-butted a visitor in our home. Of course, they think I was being social, but I mostly did it just because I knew it would surprise them. I like to keep ‘em guessing about my motives.
As you can see from my picture, I’m extremely handy to have around. Here, I was helping my pets hang a pot rack. My other talents include:
- dropping objects from high places on the minion cats
- selflessly keeping Annie’s head warm with my body in the middle of the night
- chasing the dog
- catching treats in mid-air with my paws
- fetching balls (though I go on strike when the dog tries to get involved)
- stealing food from my pets’ plates
- producing magnificent hairball art installations throughout the apartment
- drinking out of cups
I’m giving myself pretty high marks here. As my pets have settled in, I’ve become a bit more fond of them (the human ones, I mean), and they of me. They have this wonderful ritual called “dinner” where they all sit around my table and share meals. After they’re done and they’ve cleared the dishes (which they *always* forget to let me lick), they let me know how they enjoy my company. I will systematically circle the table, stopping at each of my pets to snuggle, head-butt, and rub my face and body on them. Also, when I’m not sleeping on Annie’s head, I curl up spooned with her or nestled between her and Alex. I have learned that irresistible good looks and charming amounts of affection keep my pets doing my bidding. Now, if I could just figure out how to get rid of that dog of theirs!
Overall Grade: A-
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