Cat: Alexandra

Owner: Annie

Appearance: A

Alex, in spite of being a stray who was discovered in the garbage as a new born, is a gorgeous creature. In addition to having very expressive eyes and whiskers, she sports a perfectly fluffy tail and quirky little ear-tufts.

Sociability: D

Alex is an alpha-female and therefore a bully-to-cats, especially males, which transfers to her human interactions. She enjoys being with women and some mild-mannered men, but generally her initial encounters with males, cat and human alike, results in unearthly growls and hissing that, frankly, sound as though they’ve been uttered by the devil. 

Alone, when it’s just you and her, she is a perfect ball of cuddles and purrs.

Usefulness: B

Alex is gifted at both turning on the sink and knocking things off of counters to get one’s attention, as well as posing a very viable threat to any would-be predator. Additionally, her skills at killing vermin are unprecedented, though I pity the mouse who might get in her way, as she shows no mercy.

Huggability: C

Only on her terms. If you even try, you get devil-squawked at (her meows are anything but average), but as soon as you’re reclining or under a blanket, she’s there, purring as though she never stopped.

Overall Grade: B-

Cat: Cole

Owner: Jess

Appearance: B

No white patches on this feline, pure dark chocolaty goodness. Green eyes that stare intently when delicious things are present. Average weight at 12 lbs and 10in tall; perfectly proportioned tail, not too long or too short. A bit of a dangle in the tummy but that’s due to being about 13 years young. Voluminous whiskers, as you can see. Overall, a fine looking felis.

Sociability: B

Cole enjoys the constant attention of his immediate family, and I do mean constant. He is almost always in someone’s lap. If guests must come into his home he prefers them to be quiet and calm. And female. Strange men send him scampering for the basement into any hidden crevice he can find.

Usefulness: C

He’s caught a few mice when they managed to get into our basement, so that’s pretty useful. But since we managed to get rid of them that has been the only spurt of usefulness other than being my little furry offspring.

Huggability: A

He loves hugs so much he literally forces me to give them to him by getting all up in whatever I’m doing.

Overall Grade: B

Pietro

Appearance: A

Pietro is a grey semi-longhair and incredibly handsome. He has big green-yellow eyes, long whiskers, huge paws, and a highly dignified mien. He is also extremely, extremely fluffy. 

Like seriously. So fluffy.

Sociability: B

Pietro is perhaps TOO sociable. He enjoys attention and becomes quite annoyed if he feels that you aren’t paying the proper amount to him. The proper amount being: all the attention.

He is initially a little shy around strangers, but after he’s observed them for a few minutes and determined that they are not attempting to steal his food, his bed (my bed), or his me (…me), he is very welcoming.

He likes to be petted, sit on people and/or their belongings, to follow persons of interest from room to room, and to watch as people carry out various tasks. Provided those tasks do not involve too much concentrated attention on things that are not him.

He also comes when called (if he feels like it) and is very free with his kitty kisses.

Usefulness: F

He’s a cat… I’m pretty sure he is contractually obligated to be of no use at all ever.

Though, I will say that every once in a while, he sleeps on my feet and keeps them warm.

Huggability: A

Because he is so excessively fluffy, Pietro is extremely huggable. He also enjoys hugs very much and will sometimes demand them as soon as you sit still for long enough for him to jump into your lap and headbutt your face or wiggle himself into the cradle of your arms. (The latter works best, he has found, when you are already holding something else.)

Overall Grade: C+

Cat: Dewey

Owner: Karina

Appearance: B

Dewey’s pretty much a goofball. His whiskers are abnormally long for a kitten his age (I feel) and sometimes when he’s full on staring at you his ears seem about 10x bigger than the rest of his body. When he’s laying down (97% of the time) it seems that he’s pregnant, his belly get’s so big towards the end of the day and he just rolls around happily because his little tum is full. My absolute favourite aspect of him is that he has a spot on his face that blends in with his nose and his adorable green eyes. Not only that, but he’s a total stud. He ADORES getting pictures taken, it’s like he knows he’s a total model.

Sociability: B

Pretty social! He’s not afraid of humans at all, but other animals on the other hand.. he becomes a total wimp. He’s an extremely curious little boy and often gets into trouble, slowly but surely he’s tearing apart my house. Constantly climbing onto our curtains and getting into cabinets and sitting in our pots and pans is something he enjoys doing because I’m pretty sure he knows that we find him amusing. He also enjoys playing hide and seek! As soon as you turn a corner he actually JUMPS in front of you almost to scare you and then runs away and continuously does the same routine for the next ten minutes. Quite adorable.

Usefulness: B

He’s somewhat useful. His favourite past time is doing laundry actually. Without fail, Dewey will hear the dryer open and he comes RUNNING, often runs into the dryer, and jumps into the laundry basket awaiting the pile of warm clothes to topple on top of him. Doing laundry with him is actually a really entertaining task. It’s somewhat of a challenge at the same time because you have to correctly time how you’re going to take the next piece of clothing out of the laundry bin without him taking a swipe (playfully) at you. Not to  mention, he loves wearing my panties on his head.

Huggability: C

He’s huggable for the most part, but only when he feels like it. Once he’s done with the hugging then he’s scrambling for his life to get out of your arms. Hugging him and talking to him is quite enjoyable because he just stares back at you intently almost making it seem that he’s actually listening to your baby-jibber-jabber but he’s probably just looking at you wondering when the hell you’re going to let him go.

Overall Grade: C+

Winona

Appearance: A

Winona has luxurious glossy black fur with a patch of white on her neck.  Her face is well-proportioned, and she has pretty yellow-green eyes although the green does not show up in the picture.

Sociability: A

Winona is essentially like a dog - when she sees a new person, her response is to sniff & rub up against them.  She is very tolerant of being pet for extended periods of time by anyone, and has never bitten except when she mistook a finger for a treat.

Usefulness: B

She acts as an alarm clock, which is useful during the week (not so much on weekends).  She also tends to sit on whatever we’re paying attention to, which is helpful when we want to procrastinate.

Huggability: A

Although she’s not much of a lap cat, Winona will tolerate being hugged for an indefinite amount of time as long as she is not hungry.  If she is hungry, she will meow and leap out from your arms toward the food bowl.

Overall Grade: B+

Cat: Burt

Owner: Julia & Tom

Appearance: A

Even at his old age of 18, Burt maintains his grooming well and loves his coat to be brushed to perfection. Burt has beautiful green eyes and dapper grey and white fur. Burt is one handsome fella.

Sociability: C

Burt loves to sleep on the furnace 85% of the time. He’s very social when it’s feeding time and gets treats; other than that he’s lazy and ignores people. He also gets annoyed with his kitten brother and sister, Marmee and Zamboni.

Usefulness: D

He sleeps all the time, therefore his usefulness is low.

Huggability: B

Burt likes to be hugged a lot, but sometimes he much rather be left alone.

Overall Grade: C+

Cat: Marmee

Owner: Julia & Tom

Appearance: A

Marmee’s pattern is just gorgeous. With hints of brown, it makes her one unique grey tabby. 

Sociability: A

Marmee is very playful. She enjoys sitting in front of the computer batting the mouse on the screen and playing with her rope. She loves playing with her brothers Zamboni and Burt.

Usefulness: A

Marmee provides hours upon hours of entertainment value. She’s one crazy kitten.

Huggability: A

Marmee loves to be snuggled with an held. She lets us hold her like a little baby and hug her all the time.  She’s such a lap cat.

Overall Grade: A

Cat: Bob (Bobtail)

Owner: Sage

Appearance: B

Bob’s an orange and white Manx, his peach spots in a disarray all over his body. He’s got honey-coloured eyes, with green and gold flecks near the pupils. His fur’s a little lopsided, since it never grew back quite right after he had his surgery.

Sociability: A

Bob’s a social butterfly. He meows when you talk to him (you can hold a conversation for nearly a minute), always stays by your side, and purrs at the slightest touch. He’s always willing for a pet, and welcomes all who enter his home quite happily.

Usefulness: D

Bob’s hardly useful at all. He gives me craps in my wrists when I try to type on the computer, since he’ll lay on my arms. He also will lounge on the keyboard, causing me to close out of browsers and type things I don’t want to. Though he’s useful when I have to save a file with a keyboard smash title.

Huggability: A

You could hold Bob upside-down by his legs and he would hardly even care. He’ll cling to my front like a koala as I walk around the house, and I can cradle him like a baby. He’s only scratched me severely when I spooked him, but it wasn’t even that bad. He just loves to be held.

Overall Grade: B

Cat: Fletcher (aka Foo)

Owner: ginger (hellzap0ppin)

Appearance: A

he was a maine coon and 20lbs at his prime…he was brown and grey tabby, with long hair, and had a white chest and white mittens and boots….sadly, his kidneys failed 2 days ago and was put to sleep…he was 17 yrs old and had dwindled to 6 lbs…my heart is broken…

Sociability: A

fletcher was soooo sweet and very loveable…he loved to sit at the dining table and softly give you his paw…like he was saying “excuse me, do you want the rest of that?”

Usefulness: A

he provided much love to our family…lots of purrs and mommy paws through out the years…

Huggability: A

he was very huggable…until his failing health caused im to become so thin, that he felt like he may brake if not hugged very gently…i don’t think that should count against his huggability, since he couldn’t help it……he is very missed and will always be much loved.

Overall Grade: A

Cat: Rascal

Owner: Sara Hobbs

Appearance: C

Rascal is cream/sandy tabby with no special or unique features. He is, however, completely and utterly a tub of lard. His belly feels like a furry sack of Jell-O…More to love I suppose :)

Sociability: B

He’s very loving and not shy at all unless you make very loud noises. He loves to be petted and played with, and he isn’t picky with who is doing it. I of course believe that I’m his favorite, but when its dinner time he will love anyone to get  his food.

Usefulness: C

I suppose he’s about as useful as a cat can be…Great pillow, source of entertainment (lasers? yes please.), and comfort when he senses that you’re upset or down. He’s also a great foot warmer on those cold winter nights :) 

Huggability: A

Rascal is extremely huggable. He’ll absolutely let me do anything to him..hug him, cradle him, rock, dance, and the list goes on. He’s so friendly..he’s just a big fat ball of mush. He even lets me bathe him and blow dry his belly. If I want him on my lap, all I have to do is call him over or pick him up, and he’s suddenly my large furrball of a baby.

Overall Grade: C+