1. Cat: Leo
    Owner: Holly
    Appearance: A
    Leo has an actual mane. It was easy to pick a name for him because he looks like a lion and has a regal Big Cat persona. When I give him popcorn (partly as a toy, partly as a snack) bits of it get stuck in his mane and it cracks me up. He is a lot smaller than he looks because his fur is so fluffy. I’m hoping that when he gets out of kitten mode he’ll sit still more often so he can begin the cat modeling career he’s destined for. 
    Sociability: C
    Ninja cat. He has a small club chair that he has claimed. He likes to hide under it and launch sneak attacks to any being that might walk past. During one ninja cat hunt we actually picked up the chair to see if he was hiding underneath it, but we later discovered he was instead clinging to the side of the chair as we picked it up. Very clever. He is skittish when sought after, but when it’s feeding time, grooming time, or play time he’s very outgoing. Among the animals in the house, he’s as neutral as Switzerland - which is a very smart social move. 
    Usefulness: A
    If “usefulness” means total kitten eye candy or instilling confidence in us that a mouse will never get past him, then Leo gets a high score. As far as petting / lowering our blood pressure he gets high marks because he’s fluffy and has incredibly soft fur. He also makes us laugh quite often with his ninja hi-jinks. 
    Huggability: C
    If HE’S in the mood, he’s very huggable. If HE’S not in the mood, a person doesn’t stand a chance at a hug. 
    Overall Grade: B
     

  2. OMG Prime Minister Pickles spent his Holidays autographing copies of the Review of My Cat book for his legions of fans.

    It goes without saying that it is precisely this sort of devotion to his supporters that got him to be elected Prime Minister in the first place. 

     

  3. Cat: Tako
    Owner: Orion
    Appearance: C+
    (disconcertingly white eyelashes, and somewhat rough fur perhaps due to disadvantaged early kittenhood until discovered under dumpster behind St. Louis Taco Bell)
    Usefulness: A+
    (because he is so utterly charming in his sheer goofiness… And he gives kisses by deliberately bumping his nose in one’s face, especially if you are trying to read)
    Huggability: A 
    (because he purrs on contact and dutifully drapes himself over shoulder when scooped up for impromptu emergency snuggles)
    Overall Grade: B+
     

  4. Cat: Allagash Alber Milkface Marshmallow-Paws

    Owner: Julianna

    Appearance: A+

    Allagash is a stunning cat, especially considering that when she came into our lives she only weighed five pounds and had lost much of her fur. She is rather meticulous about her appearance as well and continually grooms herself, keeping her fur luxe and her toe-tufts reasonably white. She also looks smashing in a floppy bowtie. Since she has become an outdoor cat she has gotten some sun highlights in her black fur, but this does not detract from her beauty.

    Sociability: D-

    Allagash once rated a solid B in this category, behaving in a generally friendly manner much of the time and accepting the occasional bowtie. However, for reasons unbeknownst to her human caretakers or the veterinarians they consulted, a psychotic break rendered her much less personable. She will be purring and rubbing against your legs one minute and turn on you the next. She was forced to retire to Florida because of her unpredictable behaviors in my New York City apartment. She seems largely ungrateful to Kat, the human who nursed her back to health; while she often greets Kat with a headbutt, her ears then flatten and her sweet little milk-white mouth curls into a growl or hiss. She does seem to be more fond of Danielle and Jim, perhaps because of their general indifference to cats.

    Usefulness: C

    While Allagash’s presence probably does deter vermin, her actual hunting skills are a little suspect. She has a large predatory drive, but usually works herself up so much that she hisses before she can pounce and alerts her prey to her oncoming attack. She is decorative, but provides little in the way of companionship or comfort.

    Huggability: F-

    Allagash receives an F minus in huggability because she looks like she should be so huggable. As the scar I still have on my stomach from her claws as she launched herself from my embrace can attest, SHE IS NOT!

    Overall Grade: D

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  5. Cat: Precious

    Owner: Jessie

    Appearance: A

    Precious was adopted as a rather heavy cat, but the internet has proved time and time again to love and adore these heavy critters. (Although she is on a strict diet) Her big round blue eyes and hard to resist, which I think would be her most redeeming quality.

    Sociability: A

    Precious demands the attention of anyone and everyone in the room. She will make little chirping sounds and jump into everyone’s lap. She follows you everywhere. Everywhere.

    Usefulness: A

    She hunts and kills every pesky bug that flies in, which is a lot since we live right by a creek.

    Huggability: A

    Precious loves hugs. She doesn’t give very good hugs back, indeed when she does try she usually gets way to excited and ends up biting you.

    Overall Grade: A+

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  6. Cat: Fermina Daza

    Owner: Rachel Avocado

    Appearance: A

    Let’s be honest. Fermina Daza has a beautiful, expressive face.  She has the face of an angel.

    Sociability: A

    Fermina Daza is a diva in our house, and she doesn’t really like to socialize with the other cats.  However, she loves me because I am her mom, and she follows me everywhere.  I wear teal a lot because it’s my power color, so if other people come over and wear teal, she’ll get confused and sit with them and let them pet her.

    Usefulness: A

    Fermina is really just a pretty face because she’s kinda dumb, but in terms of the aesthetic qualities she brings to my apartment, I’d say she’s very useful.  

    Huggability: A

    Fermina Daza or Mina is soft like a bunny, and I love to pet and hug her.  She loves hugs from me, but she’ll scream if other people hug her.  

    A+++ for Mina.

    Overall Grade: A+++

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  7. Cat: Tango

    Owner: Rachel

    Appearance: A

    Aside from being a bit of a pig and eating everything (food or not) so he’s a bit pudgy, Tango is a very handsome cat.

    Sociability: B

    Tango was a shelter boy, so he’s pretty much cool with anyone or anything that comes through the door.

    Usefulness: C

    Tango thinks everything is either a toy or a snack, so he’s less helpful, more get-in-the-way-and-destroy-everything. But I have to give him a passing grade because he’s so darn entertaining.

    Huggability: D

    Tango is cuddly on his terms - if my dad or I pick him up, he’s wonderfully snuggly. My mom or my sister though, they get no cuddles. Strangers barely get to pat him before he takes off.

    Overall Grade: B-

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  8. Cat: Mittens

    Owner: Ruthy

    Appearance: B

    My cat is a Tuxedo Cat. Baby soft black and white fur coat, she definitely has a certain style to it. She dons a black cardigan with a white turtleneck. She has four white paws, two knee-highs in the back and two ankles in the front. Sometimes we call them her white socks! If you notice on her right hind leg you would see a black birth mark that’s shaped perfectly like a square! What’s more to love is the white sliver on the middle of her forehead!

    Sociability: D

    She’s an introvert to describe it. Although She’s lovable around the right people, ex. sisters, mom, boyfriend, roommate/her cat, she disappears like smoke before any huge social gathering. She’s quite frighten of my friends and deems them all stranger dangers. One time I had a party at the apt and I didn’t realize that she trapped herself by hiding in the cupboards beforehand! She tried to escape in a hurry but by seeing all those people she wasn’t so graceful in jumping down, knocking everything over, and realizing both my roommate’s and I’s bedroom doors were closed she proceeded to jump back up into the cupboards! Poor thing was found in the morning back into a corner scared beyond it’s years!

    Usefulness: B

    Mittens is a natural born huntress! I was a witness to her killing off mice one at a time, and to my disgust I saw her strip them apart like beef jerky. She’s alert and acts quickly. She pounces and jumps high. The times she acts the most peculiar are the times I believe she’s training to become a real-life jungle black panther.That or I believe there is a mosquito in the room and she’s already notice it.

    Huggability: B

    Mitten’s best quality! I have to admit that it took a long time to get to where we are in terms with hugging, put in some battle scars and scratches, but it sure was worth it. I demonstrated every single hug with her. Face to belly hug, burping the cat hugs, wrap my arms around from behind hugs, she just loves it. The best is when she snuggles in bed and falls asleep right in my arms.

    Overall Grade: C+

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  9. Tigger

    Appearance: A

    Tigger is absolutely gorgeous, even if he does insist on blinking almost every time someone takes his picture. His fur is very long and a beautiful orange-gold color. He looks super fat, but really that’s just fur. So so much fur!

    Sociability: D

    Tigger kinda sucks at interacting with most people. He’ll beg for attention, scratch you, then wonder why you’ve stopped petting him. If you ignore him, he’ll sit on your lap. From what I can tell, he’s quite popular with the other neighborhood cats.

    Usefulness: D

    Tigger’s great at being entertaining by making faces when you look at him. But he doesn’t really like typical cat things like laser pointers or feathers. Sometimes he’ll play with my shoelaces if I dangle them off the stairs. Not much of hunter. I’ll often see him trying to catch pigeons in the yard, but never even coming close to catching them.

    Huggability: F

    If you pet Tigger anywhere but his head he’ll freak out and bite you. Which means hugging is a no most of the time. Sometimes you can surprise him with one and he’ll just look confused though.

    Overall Grade: D

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  10. Cat: Foofy

    Owner: Erin

    Appearance: A

    Lovely blue eyes, many stripes, silky soft fur. Has a charming head-tilt caused by an ear infection as a kitten and is slightly walleyed. There’s also plenty to love, with Foof weighing in at just under 16 lbs.

    Sociability: A

    Loves to get attention from strangers because they’re new and somehow my love goes stale. He’s always where the people are, he’s a social butterfly. Also loves to groom other cats, but that can quickly devolve into fighting if the groomee is not willing.

    Usefulness: C

    Pro at killing toy mice, however, fails to recognize live mice as prey.

    Huggability: C

    Doesn’t like being held, he puts on a big fuss, but once you put him down he wants to be your best friend.

    Overall Grade: B

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